It's been 8 days now since Taeya had her open heart surgery. Crazy that all that time has past. The fear of anticipation of what the outcome would be, the intensity of handing her over to the OR nurse, the shock of seeing her after surgery, the feeling of inadequacy of bringing her home.... It's all like a whirlwind. I've spent the better part of the day crying while my brain tries to catch up to all that's taken place.
Taeya's days and nights are confused, so we aren't sleeping much. She takes long naps during the day and I try to balance sleep with getting things done and being a mom to my others. She cries do loud now, too!! I asked her Cardiologist what they did with my sweet, calm, peaceful little baby! This is reminiscent of colic!
Eight days later, her scar is healing. One day, there will just be some faint marks that evidence the reality of this season. People tell me I'll forget; that one day I'll look back on this and it won't be so intense. I don't know that I agree. I do know that we will settle in to our "new normal" and life will again take over. But the scar of surgery she bears over her heart is a mirror image of the scar of emotion I bear on my own heart.
Linda
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